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‘The real thing almost didn’t turn me on enough’: how is online porn shaping the sex lives of young men?
Key Excerpts from Article on Website of The Guardian (One of the UK's Leading Newspapers)
Posted: April 17th, 2025
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/28/australia-e-...
Tom was in the fourth grade when he first googled “sex” on his family computer. It took him to one of the big free porn sites. According to a study released by Australia’s eSafety Commissioner in September, Tom’s experience is similar to many young people: 36% of male respondents were first exposed to porn before hitting their teens, while 13 was the average age for all young people surveyed. Only 22%, however, admitted to intentionally seeking it out, with more accidentally stumbling upon X-rated material via social media or pop-ups on other parts of the internet. When Tom started having sex years later, he found it difficult to connect to his real-life partner. “Functionally, I almost couldn’t have sex with her. Like the real thing almost didn’t turn me on enough – the stimulation just wasn’t quite right. Even now if I go through a phase of watching porn, closing my eyes during sex is much worse. I sort of need that visual stimulation.” When Dr Samuel Shpall, a University of Sydney senior lecturer, teaches his course, Philosophy of Sex, he isn’t surprised to hear young men like Tom critique their own experience of porn. “The internet has completely changed not only the nature and accessibility of pornography, but also the nature and accessibility of ideas about pornography,” he says. “It’s not your desire moving your body, it’s what you’ve seen men do, and added to your sexual toolkit,” [Tom] says. “But it takes you further away from yourself in those sexual moments.”
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