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‘I saw a man transform before my eyes’
Key Excerpts from Article on Website of Positive News
Posted: July 21st, 2024
https://www.positive.news/society/i-saw-a-man-transform-befo...
In A Band of Brothers, we believe that, when a man is willing to hold himself accountable and be supported by his community, magic can happen. And if you ask me what healthy masculinity looks like, it’s that. A man who has been arrogant, ignorant, selfish, rageful ... in short, who has made mistakes (and show me a human who hasn’t), having the courage to step into the circle and say: ‘I need help’. And other men holding him accountable without ever closing their hearts to him. I have compassion for all the men I meet who are still so focused on their own wounds that they cannot lift their heads to see the wounds of others. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK, which is the acute end of a much wider men’s mental health crisis. The young men who come to us are often torn between competing pressures: an old story about needing to be tough, to make money, to dominate, and a newer one about needing to be gentle, to value more than money, to stop dominating, to renounce the old values. Compassion and accountability – you need both. And the compassion comes first. I am still struck by the words of the young man who said: “No-one had ever actually asked me why I was angry.” He had also never been in a space where he was taught the difference between healthy anger, which is a natural and vital human emotion, and unhealthy anger, which leads to violence against yourself or others.
Note: This article was written by Conroy Harris, founder of A Band of Brothers. Explore more positive stories like this about healing social division.
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