As the Monitor's chief culture writer, Stephen Humphries stays open to a sprawling landscape of story ideas. Lately that has meant exploring empathy gaps situations where, in some cases, groups hail the misfortune and losses of those whom they view as their ideological foes. No-tolerance side-taking has emerged over everything from the Mideast conflict to stances on policing or vaccines. That got Stephen talking to a solution-seeker on the matter of fraying human connections: Alexandra Hudson, author of "The Soul of Civility." "I am hopeful," she says, "because I've spoken to thousands of people who are working to be part of the solutions in their every day." Through the power of connection, she says, "we can reclaim the soul of civility and heal our broken world." As these traditional touchstones of meaning in life, family, faith, friendship, community, have been on the [decline] in recent decades, more and more people have found their ultimate meaning in public life, in political issues. Now it's easy for people to feel like their very identity is being assaulted because of that disagreement, because their identity has been misplaced in a public and political issue. Democracy depends on reasonable, deliberative discourse and conversation and debate. And if people are constantly being thrown into fight or flight mode, we're not doing our public issues well, we're not doing democracy well. We're not doing life together very well. We live in this era of a strange perfectionism. We take one aspect of who a person is and extrapolate that: "OK, that's all I need to know about who you are and what you stand for." But that's so reductive and it's degrading to the dignity of the human person. Unbundling people is seeing the part in light of the whole, seeing someone's mistakes even in light of the dignity and an irreducible worth they have as human beings.