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Down the Rabbit Hole

A White House Insider's Journey
Down The Rabbit Hole and Back to Magnificence

Written and gratefully experienced by Fred Burks

Fred Burks served for 18 years as a language interpreter with the U.S. Department of State, eventually interpreting for Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and numerous other world leaders. Late in his career, he stumbled down a deep rabbit hole where he discovered intense levels of global deception and manipulation. His courageous whistleblowing was reported on the front page of the Wall Street Journal. Fred has gone on to develop key websites which have helped millions to open their eyes to deeper realities and to powerfully work together for an inspiring new paradigm.

Warning: The below essay may initially trigger "new age rubbish" filters for some. Others may see shades of a "conspiracy nut." You are invited to let any triggers come up, yet stay open to this very personal message of hope from one who has traveled down roads where few have ventured. And don't miss the concrete suggestions in the "What you can do" section at the end.

Down the Rabbit Hole


You are a magnificent human being with unlimited potential!

I want to first reveal my bias so that you know what you are getting into by reading this. My bias is that though we all have our weaknesses and challenges, and though some are doing very destructive things in our world, every person on this planet in their core essence is a magnificent being with unlimited potential. And most important of all, you are a magnificent human being with unlimited potential!

Consider that at the beginning of our lives, each of us was born into this world a tiny, yet magnificent baby with limitless potential and a beautiful heart. And that beautiful newborn heart wanted nothing more than to love and be loved. I believe this is where we all started our Earthly sojourn.

Yet as each of us grew, we had to adapt to the world into which we are born. We had to face and conform to the often challenging environment and biases of our parents, our family and friends, and the surrounding culture. Before many years passed, most of us even as children found our innate magnificence stifled and our heartfelt desire to love and be loved gradually overshadowed with ever thicker layers of fear, guilt, shame, anger, inadequacy, and much more.

By the time we reached adulthood and became immersed in the human rat race, those dark layers often solidified to a place where we lost touch with our inner magnificence. Money, sex, security, and more trumped our desire to love and be loved. Yet beneath those many dark layers, that magnificent core essence is always there, patiently waiting for the opportunity to shine forth in all its glory.

Is it time for you to find your way back to that precious innocence you brought into this world? Are you interested in letting your magnificent essence shine through ever more fully?

I invite you to join me in this essay on my own journey back to the heart. I am excited to have found and embraced my own love and magnificence. And I have no doubt of the love and magnificence that lies within you. Having found it in myself, I've sharpened my ability to see through your dark layers to that beautiful place within you that wants nothing more than to love and be loved.

I'll start by relating snippets of my first big awakening, followed by how I came to serve as a language interpreter for presidents and other top leaders. Then I'll share how I found myself tumbling down an intense rabbit hole deep into the shadow realms of our world, only to eventually find my way back to ever more brilliant aspects of personal and global transformation. My greatest desire in writing this is to inspire you to open ever more to the incredible potential inside of you, and to show that you – and every one of us – are magnificent beings who can create heaven on Earth.

My Awakening

Note: To skip this rather lengthy section on my spiritual awakening, click here.

"God, if you are out there, please show yourself to me!" Having reached a point of profound spiritual crisis that was tearing me apart at the tender age of 19, I let out this cry from my heart and soul. Yet the answer I got was a huge surprise that changed the course of my life forever.

I grew up with a charismatic Methodist minister for a father who thankfully encouraged me to not just believe, but to ask questions about everything. And seeing how others so praised and put my father up on a pedestal when he could sometimes be so cold and arrogant with me, I did ask questions. A big one was, "Does God really exist?"

As a teenager, I loved science and used it to question everything. I eventually declared myself agnostic. Having read the Bible cover to cover and listened to my father and many others talk about religion, I could see no proof of the existence of God. And being a high school valedictorian at the top of my class in math and science and having taken on a quiet arrogance, I had decided that if God really did exist, I could find him with my own superior intellect.

Yet my last year in high school, I was surprised and blown away to meet and become part of a group of born-again Christians that practiced love like I had never seen. No Bible thumpers, these caring friends were truly doing their best to follow in the loving footsteps of Jesus. Even though I continued to doubt the existence of God, I soon became one of the leaders of this group. The fact that they had no problem with my agnosticism spoke volumes. My time with this amazingly fun, supportive group was filled with some of the sweetest and most meaningful memories I have.

On moving away for my freshman year in college in 1976, I found myself sinking into deep grief at the loss of this special group of loving friends. Hoping to rekindle that heartfelt quality of love, I joined a born-again Christian group at my new school. Yet instead of love and acceptance, I quickly found myself being heavily pressured by the leaders there to let go of my agnosticism and give my life completely to Christ. I was so confused! I wanted love, but here I felt I had to give in to their pressure and become born again if I wanted to be loved and fully accepted into their group.

As so it was in midst of this intense emotional and spiritual crisis, I gave up my arrogance that believed I could find God myself, if he did exist. I surrendered to my pain and unfulfilled desire for love and let out a heartfelt cry, "God, if you are there, please show yourself to me!"

Within a month or so of this cry, a caring friend I'd met at college introduced me to a landmark book titled Life After Life by Dr. Raymond Moody. I was incredibly excited to read that Dr. Moody had interviewed more than 100 people who had been declared clinically dead, sometimes for many hours, yet who had miraculously come back to life and had amazing experiences while "dead."

The subjects interviewed in Moody's studies did not know each other. Before this landmark book was published in 1975, there was virtually no knowledge or discussion of what is now known as near-death experiences, a term coined by Moody. Yet the stories of what happened to these people while they were "dead" were remarkably similar. And the fascinating experiences they described were filled with love, light, and rich visions of another dimension. The vast majority of these near-death experiencers came back unafraid of death and profoundly changed for the better.

Realizing that it was virtually impossible that this many people who didn't know each other could spontaneously come up with such strikingly similar, yet uniquely rich and detailed stories of their life-transforming journey to the other side of the veil, I felt my prayer to God was answered. This astounding research convinced me that there must be realms beyond this physical world where our consciousness goes upon the death of our physical bodies.

Thus started my spiritual quest. And I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything! I soon collected and devoured a virtual library of intriguing books dealing with the deepest questions about life and spirituality. Just a month or so after reading Life After Life, I had another totally unexpected transformation while reading a book titled Cosmic Consciousness by Richard Bucke.

Bucke put forth a theory that human consciousness has gradually evolved over the millennia. He described a new, more expanded form of consciousness experienced by a small number of evolved individuals which he claimed is slowly spreading in our world. He called it "cosmic consciousness." Those who reach this state clearly see how everything is interconnected. This made a lot of sense to me. Describing the experience of a man who achieved this state, Bucke states:

"He saw and knew that the cosmos is not dead matter, but a living presence, that the soul of man is immortal, that the universe is so built and ordered that without any peradventure all things work together for the good of each and all, that the foundation principle of the world is what we call love, and that the happiness of everyone is in the long run absolutely certain."

As I read this passage, I felt something deep inside shifting in me and put the book down. Suddenly it felt as if an invisible funnel opened at the top of my head and a huge download of universal wisdom began pouring in. Tears streamed from my eyes as I suddenly remembered a vast amount of knowledge and wisdom I had somehow forgotten. In a matter of minutes, my entire understanding of life and the universe expanded exponentially in a most indescribably miraculous way!

What became crystal clear to me as a result of this life-changing spiritual download was that there is a collective intelligence composed of all life in the universe. I prefer to call this intelligence "All That Is" or sometimes just Spirit or the Divine, yet it has also been referred to as God, Yahweh, Great Spirit, Allah, and countless other divine names.

I saw, or maybe it's more accurate to say I remembered, that each of us is an integral part of this great universal spirit, that each of us has a spark of Divine magnificence within us, no matter how deep it may be buried. I became fully aware that my primary purpose in life is to live in full service to this great collective intelligence of all of us. I dedicated my life to doing my very best to choose what's best for all of us in everything I do.

As a result of that one cry for help and the ensuing profound transformation, my life took an entirely new direction. I felt humbled and honored to find trust in and the ability to surrender to something greater than myself in a way I had never experienced before. As a result, the amount of miracles and blessings in my life grew by leaps and bounds. This was a huge turning point which has shaped my life ever since.

Even though I had a rich new understanding of life and the universe as a result of that unforgettable spiritual download while still a teenager, I soon realized that this new knowledge raised as many questions as it answered. Who really am I? Who are you? Who are we? And what on Earth are we doing here? Why is there so much hatred and suffering in this world? To this day I continue to ask and explore these questions on ever deeper levels.

To the White House

One of the remarkable miracles that happened 18 years after that major awakening was being asked to serve the president in the White House. As a result of a series of small miracles, I found myself in the White House in 1995 for the first time serving as an Indonesian language interpreter for a meeting between President Bill Clinton and President Suharto of Indonesia.

I started working with the U.S. State Department as a low-level interpreter in 1986. I had never tried to climb the ranks of interpreting, yet there I was nine years later actually serving in the White House. I smiled to myself, knowing that I had been placed there for a reason. My life was clearly dedicated to spreading love and to supporting what's best for all, so I knew that I was there to radiate this, and to silently invite all present in these high-level meetings to open to love and to serving the greatest good of all people. What a privilege and an honor!

Down the Rabbit Hole 2.

By 2001, I had become the State Department's top Indonesian interpreter and even interpreted at an important meeting between President George W. Bush and President Megawati Soekarnoputri of Indonesia just eight days after 9/11. Eventually, I invited hundreds of friends to join me in energetically channeling love into a few high level meetings at which I interpreted between Bush and Megawati. The last meeting at which I interpreted in 2003 particularly seemed to be graced with little miracles and warm surprises.

Both Clinton and Bush surprised me with their level of warmth and ability to connect personally. In sharing how much she admired him, one of Clinton's staff informed me that he knew the names not only of every one of the dozens of White House staff, but of all their children as well. And though I did not like many of Bush's policies, the fact the he would check in personally with me to make sure I had the water and food I needed while interpreting was quite rare and impressive to me.

Amazingly, though I was interpreting for the president and other top leaders, I was never required to get secret clearance. So, though I won't go into them in this essay, you can read the engaging stories of many intriguing experiences I had while interpreting at this link.

Sadly, in 2004 the government decided to require all State Department interpreters to sign an incredibly restrictive secrecy agreement. I had already been feeling uncomfortable with the amount of secrecy and manipulation I had seen in government, so with the new secrecy agreement, I respectfully terminated my contract with the State Department in November of that year (as reported in the Washington Post) to focus on work related to my unexpected trip down the rabbit hole.

Down the Rabbit Hole

For all that I enjoyed interpreting for the government for 18 years and particularly enjoyed being able to bring loving energy into those high-level meetings, I knew that this was not my life's mission. From early childhood, I always sensed I had an important mission in my life. Yet through all these years, I still had no idea what that mission was.

That all changed as the result of a request I sent out to the universe in late 2000. By that time, I had done a lot of personal growth work and felt very good about my life overall, yet I knew there was more. So I sent out a heartfelt prayer that I become conscious of any dark or shadow places in my life that I might be suppressing.

The astonishing answer to this prayer completely changed my life.

First, within a month or so of that prayer, a spiritual friend invited me to take a look at a website which ended up containing the most profound philosophical essays I had ever read. The WingMakers concepts about three simple principles which can transform our lives helped to transform my awareness of the greater purpose in life far more than anything I had ever read. And a most bizarre story was related there about an alleged secret government organization which was responsible for extraterrestrial contact. I didn't know what to make of that.

Then in July of 2001, a trusted friend sent me a video he said I must watch, as it had changed his life. As the video played on my TV screen, I was stunned and completely dumbfounded to watch 22 high-level government and military witnesses at the prestigious National Press Club in Washington, DC each testify in turn about their personal involvement in a major cover-up of UFOs and the ET phenomenon. Just as an example, one of the witnesses was the former chief of accidents and investigations at the FAA who had the videotape and voice recording of a major UFO encounter.

By the end of this two-hour video, my jaw was on the floor in disbelief. If it had only been a few witnesses, I would have been skeptical. But 22 respected, high-level individuals of the caliber I had often worked with in my interpreting could not all be lying. In that moment, I had the profoundly sobering realization that the world was not what I had once thought it was.

Most remarkable is that clear evidence was given that the ETs are here to help us. Two military witnesses described an event where a UFO fired pencil-thin red beams into nuclear missile silos and disabled them. Others described new energy technologies being suppressed which could completely transform our world for the better. How exciting! Even a former chief of the CIA and Edgar Mitchell, the sixth man to walk on the moon, have called for an end to all the secrecy around UFOs. Mitchell grew up near Roswell and had no doubt that an ET craft had crashed there.

This started me on an intense quest to figure out what was going on with the UFO phenomenon and in our world in general. If something this huge was being covered up, what else might be hidden? And so began my trip down what turned out to be an immense rabbit hole. I felt very much like I had taken the red pill from the Matrix movie. And I clearly was now facing those shadows I had asked to be shown earlier in the year. Even more exciting, I finally became clear of my life mission!

My Mission

Diving into research of this huge rabbit hole that I never even knew existed, I quickly became a skilled Internet researcher focusing my inquiries on reliable information which anyone could verify. Within a year I had found huge amounts of solid, easily verifiable evidence of major cover-ups around 9/11, health, banking, elections, suppressed new energy technologies, mind control, and much more.

All of this happened just a few years before I resigned from the State Department. Before this, I had been a debunker of major conspiracy theories. Only in hindsight did I recognize a few things I had seen and heard while interpreting which suggested major cover-ups. Yet then in late 2002, I was involved in a top secret meeting at the private home of Indonesian president Megawati where I witnessed U.S. government representatives put heavy pressure on her to secretly turn over alleged terrorist Abu Bakar Baasyir. Yet to the world press, the U. S. government flatly denied this.

Once I resigned in 2004, I chose to blow the whistle and reveal this deception to the world. I was amazed that the Wall Street Journal published a front-page article on my whistleblowing which even mentioned the websites I had developed by then to reveal major government deception and more.

In the months after first awakening to these deeper realities in July of 2001, I was continually blown away by all I uncovered. I rapidly shifted from being a debunker of major conspiracy theories to being thoroughly convinced that the vast majority of people in our world had little idea of how they were being manipulated by a powerful global elite, factions of which were intent on gaining as much power and control over our world as possible. I definitely felt like I had fallen down the rabbit hole.

I scoured the Internet to see if there were any websites putting all of this vital information together in a way that any open-minded skeptic could verify using reliable sources. Seeing the importance of this mind-boggling information, I wanted to pour my energies into supporting anyone doing this vital work. I found a number of excellent websites focused on single aspects of the cover-up, but none presented the whole picture in a balanced way that could reach skeptics such as I had once been.

And so it was that my mission finally came clear to me. My life mission was to use the powerful tool of the Internet to present not only reliable, verifiable information on a wide range of major cover-ups I had discovered, but also to balance this with rich resources which inspired love, hope, and optimism that we can and will transform our world to create a brighter future. I started in 2003 with three websites:,, and All three soon started drawing attention and getting many visitors.

By 2006, the total number of visits to the websites had reached one million. In that year, I founded PEERS (Public Education and Empowerment Resource Service), an educational non-profit organization hosting what became a network of websites and free online courses dedicated both to fostering a sense of global community based on love and cooperation, and to educating the public to little-known forces underlying the political and economic structures that shape our world. I served as executive director and manager of the websites with a great board of directors to support me.

At the time of this writing (October 2013), the PEERS websites have cumulatively generated over 18 million visits. This great work has also helped to open the eyes of many influential individuals both to deeper realities of which they had been unaware, and to the inspiring movement to change all of this. And even as I have explored the dark and sometimes very disturbing shadows I had no idea existed before watching that life-changing video, I am very excited to have become an integral part of a courageous global team of people committed to loving transformation on our planet.

Dark Shadows

Largely through my work on the Internet, I feel most fortunate over the years to have come into contact with dozens of intelligent, courageous individuals who are willing to look into the dark shadows. These caring people are not only well aware of all that is being hidden from us, they are also deeply committed to shifting our world to a new paradigm based on love and cooperation.

We have developed a loose-knit group I like to call the SIA - the Spiritual Information Agency. Where the CIA operates on the premise that any important knowledge should be kept secret and that secrecy gives power, our SIA believes that any important knowledge should be shared freely with all. We know that openness and transparency is what ultimately brings greater depth, joy, and meaning to life.

What I discovered in my research with this group was sometimes deeply disturbing. I found that though low and mid-level reporters and editors in the major media are largely good people trying to do their best, the higher echelons in the media often dictate what is covered and particularly keep some vitally important topics from ever being reported. Key media positions are secretly held by CIA operatives who can stop news they don't want from going out. The Media Information Center I helped develop gives solid, undeniable evidence of this.

Some aspects of secret mind control programs I learned about particularly turned my stomach. Yet I still wanted to learn about this, particularly as these mind control projects were a key to understanding how some major world events could be so successfully manipulated with so few people aware of what was being done. I knew that only by educating myself and helping to spread this vital information to those who could do something about it could we make a real difference.

I discovered indisputable evidence from many thousands of pages of declassified CIA documents that a top secret mind control program had been successful in creating a large cadre of Manchurian Candidates – people whose personalities had been split so that their alter personalities acted as spies, thieves, sexual seducers, and even murderers without the knowledge of their normal personality. The program was so effective that these people would pass lie detector tests denying their actions, as their core personalities had no idea of how they were being manipulated.

This may sound like it's straight out of a movie (it was made into a movie which I believe was based in fact), yet I even ended up personally meeting several key people to whom this had happened who managed to break free of the programs. One of my best informants is a fascinating and brilliant man who worked 25 years deep cover with the CIA and was once a Manchurian Candidate himself. Those who take the time to explore the declassified documents cannot help but have their eyes opened to these dark shadows. What a wild world that I never knew even existed!!!

Global Awakening

At the same time that I learned about all of these and other most bizarre and disturbing manipulations going on behind the scenes, I learned about many inspiring groups and movements I had never heard of who are deeply dedicated to transforming our world. I personally met awesome individuals who were doing powerful work to make needed shifts to bring our world into a new paradigm based more on love and cooperation. I found myself delving deep both into dark shadow worlds and into worlds of amazing light and inspiration at the same time.

What I eventually learned through my network was that there is a great metaphor for the current state of our world – the metamorphosis of the butterfly. Here's a great description of the process:

The greatest transformation in human history is currently unfolding. An elegant metaphor to represent this is the metamorphosis of a butterfly. When a caterpillar reaches a certain point in it's own evolution, it savagely consumes everything in sight, eating hundreds of times it's own weight. This catalyses the emergence of new cells in the caterpillar's body which are called imaginal cells.

At first these cells are attacked by the immune system, but as more and more of them emerge and communicate with each other, they coalesce into a cooperative network and become the genetic directors of the future of the caterpillar. At this point all other cells dissolve into a nutritive soup that feeds and nourishes the emerging body of the butterfly. We are these new cells on the planet coming together right now to build a butterfly for the future of humanity and the world.

The above quote is from a powerfully inspiring one-minute video, which can be found at this link. We live in a society where many people are almost blindly focused on consumption. Yet as ever more of us wake up, we are creating the stage for an entirely new way of living. We are the imaginal cells of a new world being birthed.

At first, the "imaginal cells" promoting a new paradigm in our world were strongly suppressed. Some were even killed for speaking out: Gandhi, the Kennedys, Martin Luther King, Jr. Yet as an ever increasing number of us reach out and link up, we are forming a powerful cooperative network which is laying out the blueprint for the inevitable transformation of our planet. How exciting is that!!!

I am particularly thrilled that large numbers of the younger generation are now talking both about this change and about how we are all interconnected. As the older generation dies off and the old paradigm loosens its grip, the younger generation is paving the way for a world much more focused on love, compassion, and cooperation. Like me, these young people know that when you take away all the intense social conditioning, every one of us at our core is a beautiful, magnificent being.

Creating Heaven on Earth

The global awakening is spreading rapidly. Hundreds of thousands of organizations and many millions of people around the world are now joining in a profound movement to usher in an exciting new paradigm. And as others are attracted to the clear way we radiate love, joy, and authenticity and to how much fun we are having, our numbers are growing rapidly. For the incredibly moving six-minute video "Blessed Unrest" which beautifully demonstrates this, click here.

What about you? Are you a part of the movement? If not, are you interested in joining us? There are many great ways you can do this. Ask for guidance in leading you to whatever ways are right and best for you to join in the exciting transformation taking place even as you read this. One possibility is to educate and inspire yourself on one or more of the transformational PEERS websites. Or consider exploring one of our highly praised free online courses which beautifully interweave the light and the shadows for the greater purpose of personal and global transformation.

Even as you embrace your role in this transformation, remember that there are people and forces out there which don't want you or us to change. A relatively small group of elites want ever greater control over the public to serve their own interests. They are doing all they can to keep us in the dark so that they can continue to amass fortunes and control the destiny of the planet. And what they don't want you to know is that you are magnificent. You are an infinite child of the universe.

If all of us help each other to awaken to our inner magnificence and join together to shine light on the actions of this relatively small group of elites, I have no doubt that eventually we can create heaven on Earth.

I am one who has always wanted to know what is going on in our world, no matter how dark and scary what I learn may be. I want to know so that I can do something about it, rather than bury my head in the sand. I love the fascinating journey of diving ever deeper into the mystery of life and helping to create a beautiful new paradigm for us all. I feel so fortunate to have had a life-changing spiritual awakening at an early age which then led me not only to serve in White House, but to later fall deep down the rabbit hole and then find my way back to ever greater magnificence.

One key to inviting our inner magnificence to shine through is recognizing the importance of choice. Though we often do not have conscious control over what happens in our lives, we always have choice in how we respond to anything that happens. It is this choice that gives us incredible power to consciously create our experience of life and to make a difference in the world.

You always have choice. Right now, you have choice. Do you just read these words and go on with life as usual, or do you decide to take concrete action to let go of past wounding and open ever more to your unlimited potential? I invite you to let go of any belief that you are a victim. Choose to be a powerful creator in your life helping us all to build a brighter future together. I totally support you in letting go of whatever doesn't serve you and stepping ever more fully into your magnificence. Thank you for joining me and all of us here on this wild journey through life on planet Earth.

With sacred love and very best wishes for a transformed world,
Fred Burks
Founder and manager of and the PEERS network of empowerment websites

Final Note: I invite you to explore an empowering two-page essay with an abundance of great ideas on creating the new paradigm. You might also enjoy a popular and inspiring essay I wrote speculating about the UFO cover-up and what's happening in the really big picture on our beautiful planet. For a website with numerous essays of my spiritual musings, see And for a profound online course which beautifully interweaves the dance of light and shadow with an unwavering base of love, check out the Transformation Course. Finally, I invite you to enjoy the profound quote below about living life to its fullest.

Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. Love doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. That you stay present and feel fully. And do your best.   ~~  Courtney Walsh, inspirational poet, blogger, author

For more inspiration:
  • Educate yourself on vital topics being hidden from the public using reliable, verifiable sources at our website. Venture down the rabbit hole while remembering your deep inner magnificence.
  • Explore the educational, inspiring PEERS websites managed by Fred at this link.
  • Watch an inspiring 12-minute video of Fred talking about his transformational experiences at this link.
  • See our awesome collection of a variety of inspiring resources available here.
  • For several dynamic online courses which powerfully expand your horizons, click here. These highly praised courses explore both the brilliant light and dark shadows of our world in a way that is guaranteed to inspire and transform you in wonderful ways.
  • Share this inspiring essay with your friends and bookmark it on key news websites using the "Share" icon on this page.

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