Mystical Musings on the Sacred Matrix
And the Value of Both Separation and Connectedness
Dear beautiful friends of PEERS,
Quite a number of subscribers have written saying they appreciate the occasional essays I send out to the list that I have written. And I know that other subscribers don't find value in them. I invite you to enjoy the below essay if it works for you, and just skip it if it doesn't.
This essay came about when a couple months ago I was looking forward to a day of mostly relaxation and contemplation for my monthly day of silence and fasting. I’d been microdosing with mushrooms recently, taking something like a 1/10 dose every few days. This particular day of silence, I decided to take about 3X that, which I thought would be about a 1/4 dose. That generally is enough to feel something, but not get into much of an expanded state.
Unexpectedly, this small dose took me for quite a ride. I was totally fine with this, but it definitely wasn’t about relaxing. As my mind opened to a significantly expanded state, I ended up getting an abundance of inspirations which I’ve compiled into the thought-provoking essay I've copied below. I love that I was able to surrender and just enjoy the ride, even though it wasn’t what I expected. I hope you enjoy my musings.
Mystical musings on the sacred matrix and the value of both separation and connectedness
By Fred Burks
I have long known that there is something much deeper that is driving all of life — a mysterious energetic field that infuses all of us with the desire to live and accumulate life experience. I see that mysterious field as the sacred matrix from which all existence is birthed. This incredible and intricate matrix is the unseen energetic field which underlies and informs all of physical existence.
In the explorations of my inadequate mind, I've come to believe that this sacred matrix was created by the source consciousness of "All That Is," or God as many prefer to call it. I suspect that God created this energetic matrix as a birthing ground not only for our physical world, but also for vast other worlds and universes that are simply beyond the conception of our limited minds.
As it exists beyond the reach of our five senses, most Earth dwellers don’t even know this unfathomable matrix exists. Yet I’ve found that this infinite field of energy lies at the core of both our internal and external worlds. And I find tapping into it through my internal world brings the most profound inspirations. The more I open to living with awareness of this underlying sacred matrix, the more magical I find life becomes.
If, on the other hand, I focus mostly on the external world with an eye to what’s the right thing and what’s the wrong thing to do, I miss out on allowing underlying divine energies of the sacred matrix to flow through me in service to something greater. By opening to and inviting this divine source to inform all of our actions, we can step out of rightdoing and wrongdoing and enter a field where we all get to play and explore together while welcoming and expressing the core divinity in every one of us.
Rumi: “Out beyond rightdoing and wrongdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
Looking at the world with our externally focused eyes, most would agree now that the old world is falling apart. Seeing this, we are presented with a choice. How much do we want to focus on the falling apart? And how much do we want to focus on “the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible,” as Charles Eisenstein so lovingly expressed in his book with that title?
Is the house really on fire, as many of my friends believe? Is anything so urgent that we must do something about it right now? How much of the sense of urgency is our own making? I love that I don’t feel a sense of urgency and have reached a peaceful place where, while not denying all the craziness in our world, I welcome any waves, big or small, that come my way.
Many souls who take the red pill or go down the conspiracy rabbit hole become obsessed with the falling apart and with how dark humanity can go. This has certainly happened to me. This obsession ironically further feeds the separation game as we fall into us vs. them thinking. Put crudely, it’s the evil elite vs the rest of us. Yet by focusing so much on what “they” are doing or going to do to “us,” how much are we feeding that old paradigm?
The essential message of many conspiracy theorists is that the world is not what we think it is. It’s much worse. They believe that clandestine evil and sinister forces are manipulating and controlling our world and we have to stop them NOW. What they tend to forget is that we all have choice, and that no matter how crazy life gets, ultimately no one can control, manipulate, or imprison our souls. Gandhi and MLK did some of their best work from jail.
My brilliant, talented friend Carl, for example, is like the Man of La Mancha, engaging in battles with the powerful, manipulating elite of our world that he is determined to win by force of his strong, beautiful will. Carl, what if your intense desire to win the battle is actually creating more of the old us vs. them paradigm? What if all of this is an external expression of battles going on inside of yourself? Is there a part of you that resists playing with what it’s like to live life more from a place of surrender?
The evil you would fight against forever lives inside of you.
The magnificence you fear you are forever lives inside of you.
By choosing to see the divine spark in every soul, including the elite, we can work together to expose and stop the harmful behavior of the controlling power elite while also not engaging in us vs. them thinking. We can shift from the old separation paradigm of blaming and shaming to a new, more connected paradigm, where all souls are valued even as we do our best to stop damaging behavior. The key is that in some mystical way, we are all creating each other here in this divine drama.
To those who have become obsessed with the evil elite, I want to send you a loving invitation to recognize the part of you that really believes “they” are out to get us. There is lots of evidence to feed that part. The more we look, the more we will find. We all have that part to varying degrees. How can we honor that part, yet let go of our attachment to seeing an “us” standing against “them” and consciously focus more on what best serves all beings, including the elite? What if we focus less on “them” and what they are doing to us and more on “us” and how we can generate more love and transformation in our lives?
I have caught myself several times falling into us vs. them thinking around COVID and the elite’s role in it, particularly with a few friends who see things very differently than I do. Yet I’m committed to catching myself when I fall into that blame game and reminding myself that there is a greater reason for everything, and that everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got.
There’s nothing inherently “wrong” with being mostly focused on exposing the darkness. It has its place and time. And I’ve certainly spent huge amounts of time on this, as it has felt like a divine calling to me. It is another way of exploring the worlds of separation that is useful as part of the divine exploration of all existence. I simply question the value of doing this from a place of us vs. them.
At the same time, I don't want to belittle the value of us and them. In recent years, I’ve come to enjoy exploring the value of separation, which I used to believe was bad. I’m increasingly seeing that separation can be just as valuable as connection. Without separation, this whole physical world would not exist. Remember that without separation, you would not be reading this and I would not be writing it, as there would only be one being in all existence. I believe this world was designed as a way for us to explore the worlds of separation.
Is total connectedness what really what we want? Is our final goal to all merge back into oneness thus giving up all sense of individuality? It's definitely not my goal. I love exploring the world and universe as this individuated divine fragment Fred and drinking in the beauty of so many other unique divine fragments that show up as us and them and you and everyone I know. And remember, too, that we all love both time alone – time being separate from others – and time together in connection with those around us.
I’m increasingly finding there is great value in playing with the balance between separation and connection. I love that you are there and I am here to interact with each other. We are separate, which allows us to explore the countless ways we can connect with each other. We can honor the value of separateness while also strengthening our connectedness, which allows us ever more to feel the interconnectedness of all beings through the underlying sacred matrix.
Feeling into all of this, I find myself more prioritizing personal connections over global matters. I don’t want to ignore what’s happening in the world, as I find it’s quite valuable to be aware of both the dark and hidden goings on and all the little-known inspiring movements sweeping our planet. This allows me to make more educated choices in the face of all the chaos and craziness out there. Yet I want to more prioritize love and compassion in my personal life and focus less on shining light into the darkness.
What about things like climate change, the intense government and corporate corruption, and the never-ending wars in our world? Could it be that in the really big picture, these are providing souls with the opportunity to explore how they handle this? What if literally everything that we feel is “bad” is actually an opportunity for growth? What if the one who is “out to get us” is in some mystical way no more than a lost or suppressed part of ourselves calling attention to itself?
There are beings who I believe have voluntarily taken on the divinely appointed role of keeping us unconscious so that we can further explore the realms of separation. Without them and their drive for exploring separation, Earth and the physical realms would not exist. It can actually be quite delicious to feel separate from others, so that we can better play and explore with them. We can enjoy the separate physical aspects while also holding awareness of how we are all interconnected in this divine cosmic dance.
We have choice in how much and in what ways the Earthly dramas being presented affect us. What if we all focused more on responding with clarity and compassion to all involved in these dramas, including to those who are creating them - the power elite, and ultimately our own selves. We can work to stop the destructive behavior, yet also honor the divine essence within every one of us while doing this.
Note: For inspiring ideas on how to see the divine essence in everyone, see this inspiring essay from my very favorite spiritual writing — the Wingmakers
I want to surrender to the knowingness that ultimately I am playing an intimate role in everything that happens to me. My view of myself and the world is ultimately formed by how I perceive and interpret what happens and has happened to me and the choices I make in response to that. In this sense, I am co-responsible for everything that happens both in my life and in our world.
An important aspect which colors my world derives from an intense past life of which I have clear memory. I am sad to say that I remember being the chief of a torture chamber during the Inquisition. In that lifetime I was as dark and evil as they come. Yet by an act of grace, I went through a dramatic transformation and soul shift from the dark to the light as a result of one man who I couldn't break, as he kept showing love and compassion for me even as I tortured him in the most heinous ways. I realized that this man had far more power than me and left my work to wander the land.
As a result of that most intense lifetime, I came to a place on my soul journey where I felt I was really done with exploring suffering and separation. And I wanted to make up for the intense pain and suffering I had inflicted on so many. In this current lifetime my deep unresolved guilt and shame around what I did in that cruel lifetime still haunts me and at times causes me to become obsessed with “shining a loving light into the darkness” to balance all the pain and suffering I caused.
I know that a core reason for me creating the nonprofit PEERS was to balance my intense karma from that most intense past life. And I feel I’ve done very well at this. Through my work with PEERS, I have helped many thousands around the world to heal and transform their lives in significant ways. Several have even written to tell me how I saved their lives through this work. As a result, the underlying desire to balance my karma seems to be lessening, yet it is still there. And I know that the shame of having hurt and tortured so many people that lifetime is still there buried within me. This is what sometimes causes me to overly focus on healing the wounds of our world.
Given all of this, the key question here is where do I want to place my focus now? How can I truly forgive myself, so that I can be even more loving, compassionate, and an ever more powerful invitation to creating a more loving, harmonious way of being?
When I catch myself overly focusing on exposing the darkness, I can make a choice as to whether it feels best to explore this further or to shift my energy and explore something else. Sometimes it’s valuable to allow myself to really feel these things and allow them to play out. Other times, it’s more useful to consciously shift my energy so that I might be more fully present and loving with all around me.
I want to remind myself and other friends who are unconsciously feeding the dark path by focusing on making it wrong to open to a different way as much as we are ready. Earth is a place where we play out our unconscious fantasies, both dark and light. And we always have choice in where we focus our energies and attention.
How much can I be a generator of love, warmth, and compassion? That is the challenge I want to live into. That is the game I’m choosing to play now. Without denying or ignoring all of the ugly parts of our world and myself, how can I step more into being a warm, healing presence inviting more love and harmony in our lives and in our world? How can I tap into the energies of the sacred matrix to support this? That is the game I’d like to play with my remaining time in this Earthly realm.
All of us have chosen before entering this Earthly life to go unconscious here to assist the divine in exploring itself through us. We agreed to forget our own divine heritage, to forget our interconnectedness with all beings that we might dive into the richness of a world more focused on separation. Largely blind to the mysterious ways of the sacred matrix and how it informs and animates our lives in unseen ways, we find ourselves immersed in a physical world that is dominated by our five senses as we explore both separation and connection.
This dance of separation and connection continually invites us to learn and grow. This dance inspires us to dive ever deeper into explorations of the infinite possibilities available to us in life. This is the divine drama, the cosmic play expressing itself here on Earth. It is the cosmic game in which each of us is playing our divinely appointed role.
I know that in the really big picture, we are all conspiring to find ways to breathe and live together more harmoniously. As separate, individuated consciousnesses with a divine core inhabiting these physical bodies, we are the eyes and ears and the fingers and hands of God exploring itself through us. May we all find ever more love and joy as we explore this amazing gift of life with which we have been blessed.
Note: For a website which has a collection of some of the best of my mystical musings, see www.divinemystery.net
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